ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.