I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
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I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
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Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.