Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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