So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
