I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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