Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
