I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize