last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
