I cockslap morals
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When are your genitals available?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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