I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
