Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
