BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
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I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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