Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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