I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Help. Why am I so naked?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
