i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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