planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
