Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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