The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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