I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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