Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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