i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize