He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
