the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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