I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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