My friends, they love my intelligence
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
