I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize