I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
