Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
