Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
