your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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