i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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