its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
