Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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