I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
