Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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