I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
