I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
