Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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