I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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