well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
