..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
