I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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