I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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