why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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