I CAN MOONWALK!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
