He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize