he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
