Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
