I'm really into asian looking animals
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize