Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
