i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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