ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize