Little spoons don't ask big questions
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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