hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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