i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The beer is more important than you right now.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
