Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
